Humor
Use in case of emergency
How many programmers do it take to change a light bulb?
None, it a hardware problem.
Anyone who thinks Space is the final frontier hasn't seen my barn!
T'was the Night Before the Demo
T'was the night before the demo, and all through the lab,
Not a program was working, not even a tab.
The programmer was wrung out, too mindless to care,
Knowing chances of the demo hadn't a prayer.
The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of extracts danced in their head.
When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter,
That I sprang from my tube to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Super IBM Programmer, oblivious to fear.
More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
On Open! On Model! On Extract! On Delete!
On batch Job! On Status! On Functions Complete!
His eyes were glazed over, his fingers were lean,
From weekends and nights in front of the screen.
A wink of the eye, and twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Turning specs into code, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger on the ENTER key.
The demo came up, and worked perfectlly
The updated, updated: the deleted, they deleted;
The extracts, extracted; and jobs completed.
He tested each whistle, he tested each bell,
With nary an abend, and all had goner well.
The code was finished, the tests were concluded,
The user's last changes were even included.
And the user exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
"It's just what I asked for, but it's not what I want."